Blog slacker...

I've been a bit of a blog slacker. I've been far too busy counting down the days until we're freed from the Penn-itentiary...
Mostly we've been working in the yard and making garden plans (making them, not yet executing them). We have had a little fun....

We went to the Tulip Festival with Bud and Kelli and my Mom...The tulips were lovely but the boys were pretty adorable too!


Eli really likes Uncle Art....

Art spent most of the day with Eli insisting that Art push...

I wonder why?
Eli was also the official map reader... a very important job.

Mostly we ignored those antics and enjoyed the tulips.

We also had an exciting adventure in our backyard this week. Our neighbor has a hive and one morning it 'swarmed' (this is when there is a new queen and she takes a part of the hive and moves to a new place). Her new place was our Lilac bush. We got to come out and take pictures before our neighbor sprayed them with sugar water to satiate and then moved them into a new hive.
Yes I was standing about 1 foot from 6000+ bees....
We are going to keep the new hive in our yard for the summer, hopefully it will make my plants insanely lovely!

So beyond that, the fun has been in CRT tests, Spring Fever in 10 year olds, putting together the end-of-year play, and squashing all summer daydreaming to fit 'one more thing' in... 18 days, but who's counting?

Cupcakes, get your Cupcakes!

A photo story of my cupcake weekend....





Dark Chocolate cupcake with Peanut Butter Mousse; chocolate buttercream frosting with buttercream, and gumpaste flowers

Triple Chocolate cupcakes with chocolate ganache
Triple chocolate cupcake with chocolate cream cheese mousse filling and whipped chocolate ganache frosting
French vanilla cupcake with white chocolate whipped ganache

French vanilla cupcake with fresh strawberry cream cheese filling and buttercream frostingDishes - lots of dishes.
Finally, the presentation at the shower for Arica!

90 cupcakes - 1 left over. I'd say that was worth the work.

Relief...

Wednesday morning I awoke with the strangest feeling. Relief. I laid in bed (after preparing lunch, sending Art out the door, and crawling back into bed), with a box of tissues and several cough drops, and I thought about the sweet joy of being able to lie in bed with no Oompa Loompa rhythms beating through my mind, no 14 hour days looming, no last minute things to locate, and a serious cold as a justifiable excuse. Relief.
When Rudy finally convinced me to get up for good at 8:30(!!!! I haven't slept that late in YEARS!) I looked around to discover a fairly harsh reality check.
When you disappear for three weeks in the depths of Parent Teacher Conferences, State Office Presentations and the Final Weeks of the play there are certain things that get neglected. I try very hard to make sure my husband and dogs aren't one of those things. But in the bright early hours of Wednesday morning I realized my house HAD been one of those things. It's not like I hadn't done dishes or laundry, but I had neglected the bathrooms and just turned a weary eye on all of Art's piles. And the dust, I just don't know where it comes from!? (Don't actually answer that, I know it's dead skin cells, and spider parts, but I don't want to think about that.)
So I decided I better remedy that situation, not only because it's fairly nasty and my mother would not find it acceptable, but also because the new carpet was set to be installed in just a few days.
I've discovered the PERFECT way to clean. As I attempted to move everything from the upstairs portion of the house into 'somewhere else'.... I dusted. When the furniture was bare... I dusted some more. When the furniture was gone and the floor was empty.. I vacuumed (I know what you're thinking, 'Didn't she say they were getting new carpet?' That's what Art said also, "You're vacuuming carpet we're going to throw away?" - I have hairy dogs, I have neurotic genes.) When the carpet is gone and the floors are bare... Wash the windows and the blinds and wipe up the walls and moulding, and of course wash the curtains (I only have one set, it is really disappointing to my mother). Then while the carpet installers are here and you're trapped in the kitchen... clean and organize the cupboards, scrub the sink, and wipe up the fridge.
And now, as they finish up I am itching to vacuum (yes, I'm going to vacuum brand new carpet!), hang up the curtains (damp of course, to hang out the wrinkles - at least I do that much right), and put all my furniture back in a new and exciting way - dust free.

Wonka Tickets....

Wonka tickets are now available... well, I'm going to start handing them out tomorrow....
The show is Monday 29th, and Tuesday 30th at 6:00 at Evergreen....
If you would like tickets, let me know how many, and for what night!
Thanks
(Jamie, I already got you down for Monday night with the fam...right?)

Been brewing...

A few weeks ago Kelli said I should write about this, so I've been thinking about it, and it seems with recent events, today is the day.

Art and I have been married for 5 1/2 years, crazy to think it has been that long - but time does fly when you're having fun.
When I told my "School Mom" (you get those when you're the young teacher) that I was getting married she said, "You're not going to be one of those Mormon girls that gets married and is pregnant 6 months later?" I responded with a hearty 'no', and told her we would wait 5 years.

Last year we were expecting our first baby on our 5 year anniversary.
But as most of you know, that didn't work out. It was a heartbreaking experience, for so many reasons, one of the hardest was that we had been trying for a long time.

I was never 'regular' in my youth and always feared this would be an issue, turns out I was right. A few years ago we decided to just 'let time decide', we were ready. Time wasn't.

We've done rounds of tests and treatments. No one can really give us a straight answer, they say we're healthy, we could get pregnant any time. We just don't.

A friend of mine was telling me how her parents tried for years and weren't successful, and every month her mom would get her period and cry.

It is a terrible thing, that monthly reminder of the one thing you just can't accomplish. I cry too.

We've watched the family fill up with babies. We've watched our friends create families. We've watched the years tick by, empty.
But we've survived.

I have the most loving and wonderful husband. He is so positive and supportive. All he wants in the world is to give me a baby, and he too feels the frustration of not being able to accomplish that one thing.

We have talked about adoption. We have good friends who are adopting - their baby is due tomorrow. We've seen the joy it can bring, we've also seen the heartache. I would absolutely adopt, but it's an expensive process - I'm a poor teacher, married to a carpenter. We've saved our pennies and eventually may go that route. But the truth is, I know I can get pregnant, so my heart won't let me give up yet.

Our time will come. We got to meet President Monson last year and he asked if we had kids, we humbly said, 'no, not yet'. He looked us in the eye, with a smile on his face and said, "It will come."
How can you not have faith in that?

Until then, I cry once a month. I hold every baby I possibly can. I love my husband. I love my dogs (they're wonderful 4 legged babies). And I wait, it will come.

It's amazing how many have been in our same boat. I know in our family so many have experienced the loss of a child, and the heartache of not getting pregnant. It is good to know that you are not alone. There is a great comfort in knowing that someone understands these very complex feelings. I know that after we lost our baby, talking to Kelli was a great relief, because she understood. I have to be grateful, because my life is blessed. I have a wonderful family, great friends, support all around me, and people that understand. Now I just need the patience to wait our turn. It will come.

Tis the season...

It's play season, which, for me, is 6 out of the 9 months I teach. But I'm currently in the Heat of play season - we're in performance month. That means my life is a series of lists...
Things to buy:
Things to find:
Things to make:
Things to get in the costume box:
Things to paint:
Things to print:
Things to create:
and somewhere at the bottom,
Things to do:

But if it makes it to the Things to do: list that means I'm not sure if I should buy, find, make, paint, print, or create it...it just has to get done.
Tomorrow we learn the finale - the last big number - with all 150 kids involved...Singing, dancing, acting, and moving on the stage AT ONCE. So I've listened to the music about 1000 times and I can see it in my head, but I've learned over the years that what I see in my head is not always the same as what comes out on the stage. And with just me to choreograph this number, and teach each of the parts to the respective groups, it could be interesting.

So here it is, the night before, and what am I doing? Not dancing, not blocking, not even listening to the music; instead, I'm blogging and then going to take a bath with my love while I eat ice cream. And then, maybe, I'll have the strength for the rest.

My Personal Narrative

I have a narrative that runs through my head all day. And it is usually in the form of conversations I intend on having at some point. I am usually "talking" to Art, Judy & Marissa (my team), my dogs, my students, or Anna. I have these conversations going so often, that I often can't remember what I've said aloud, and what I've just 'thought'. This past week I've had to ask a student, twice, if I said something aloud, or just thought it. It's really an issue.

This week I've noticed my narrative has shifted primarily to 'blogging'... I've been 'thinking' what I should, or could, be writing here. But I never take the time to actually sit down to write it (mostly because it seems a bit inane to actually put into words), until I was sitting here enjoying my grapefruit when the narrative took over and I thought - Just Write it Down! Even if it's just about grapefruit. So here is a bit of the narrative in my head....My friend Marissa eats a grapefruit every day for lunch. We used to accuse her of being on the grapefruit diet, but really she just bought them at Costco and we all know what kind of a commitment you get from shopping at Costco. Each day she enjoys her grapefruit and manages to carry on a conversation and not make a sticky mess. Today I decided to have a grapefruit for my after school snack while I caught up on my blog reading. Let just say that outside the narrative running through my brain, I was not able to accomplish anything. And, I'm sticky, my desk is sticky, I shot grapefruit all over myself, and I haven't even gotten to the juice. I'm just not as talented as Marissa.

Today was Maturation. I enjoy maturation, but only because we have the funniest lady come and present. She takes a serious and uncomfortable situation and makes everyone giggle. It is always fun to watch faces turn red and girls look at their moms as if they might die, but we all survive. Maybe it's just the cookie that pulls them through.

Ok, that's all. Because it's the end of the day (yes 5:00 is approaching bedtime for me), and by this point, forming full and complete sentences is a chore. But I do feel better after having unloaded a bit of the narrative.