Clinging to the side of the bed...

Like chevrons, burlap flowers, and upcycling - 'Sleep Training' is an 'in' thing right now. Or perhaps it is just 'in' in the circle of moms around me. Either way, it seems to be the topic of blog after blog right now and I know this because I think I've read them all. From "Mommy Blogs" to "Sleep Consultants" I've read them, and I've read the medical journals, the psychologists analysis of sleep, the American Pediatrics Guide, and so on. It's what I do in the night while I'm nursing. I read about sleep.

So I'm putting in my 2-cents, and then I'm moving on from blogging about my child's sleep, because really, who wants to read that?

First - EVERY child is different. So don't think that your child, or your parenting skills are broken because what 'they' said didn't work for you.
Second - Only you know what is best for your child. I think this is where mother's instinct must rule. And I can't let my own mother, or the mother's around me, overrule what I know to be true about my child.
Last - "If at first you don't succeed, try, try again." (Or at least I think that's how that quote goes, that's how it goes in my mind.) There will be bad days, and bad nights, but no one has ever died from lack of sleep. (At least I don't think so, I'm totally making up that fact.)

So here's how we did it: (And by 'did it' I mean, "currently doing it and crossing fingers praying that it's done")
1. Rigid schedule (thanks to Art for supporting me on this, he had to lay down the law - because I asked him to, and it made a world of difference.)
2. Break the swaddle habit (I LOVE swaddling a little one, but big ones have to sleep without it. For Miles, it was easy to give it up at night, during the day took a little more patience. One arm first, then both, then going to sleep without it, but sometimes having to swaddle mid-nap, and then finally gone)
3. I don't like the CIO method (Oh how I feel so trendy using that acronym), I want positive sleep associations. That's my opinion, and I'm sticking to it. You are entitled to yours. So I taught Miles to go to sleep on the bed next to me. I would darken the room, lay him down with his blankey and binky then I would lay on the other end of the bed. He squirmed, crawled away, and talked a lot, but eventually put himself to sleep. When he started to figure out he could crawl over to me and cuddle up with me and my blankey then I had to lay him down on the other side of the bed and prepare myself for the next step.
4. Now we follow the same routine with book, curtains, dark, blankey, but now we go to his crib. He played for quite a while the first few days but seems to be settling in to the routine. He never cries, maybe because I'm still laying on the side of the bed (out of sight, and not really doing anything. Letting go issues? perhaps.) He roots around, cuddles his blankey, kicks his legs and eventually dozes off for an hour or two. (Two naps, twice a day - 1-2 hours each- in his crib and sometimes and evening snooze post milkies, in the car, or stroller)

He's far from perfect, as is the routine, but we're getting there. It is a wonderful feeling to not have to swaddle and rock and gently lay him down and then pray that he'll stay asleep. And sure as I hit publish he'll wake up screaming and won't go back to sleep and I'll have to eat my words, but oh well. It's all part of the process.

*Post-Script: I am stuck. Stuck in the middle of this weeks book (The Underneath by Kathi Appelt). And man am I having trouble picking it up. It's dark, and weird, and jumps time and people all over the place. I'm supposed to be reading right now (pump, eat and read - that's the lunch routine) but I couldn't bring myself to do it. So what do I do, I strongly disagree with giving up on a book, but I feel like I'm forcing myself to read it. Give up or read on??

The One and Only...

I chose to read this book after it was a huge hit in one of our 4th grade classrooms. The teacher, a lover of literature and ex-librarian, read it to her class and for weeks they would tell me about gorillas and silverbacks during my time with them. Then it went on to win her Sweet Sixteen of Literature, so it hit the top of my list (not to mention it's a Newberry Winner, and I always try to read those).

This sweet book is the tale of the One and Only Ivan, a silverback gorilla, who lived in a roadside mall. The story is told from his perspective and has such great voice that it truly makes you connect to him on a personal level. Ivan has spent most of his life with Mack, the keeper and owner, and has come to find his "domain" in the mall 'home'. But Ivan has a new visitor join their family of wild animals and a promise is made that changes his perspective on the future. Thankfully, Ivan is an artist, and his creativity saves the day.

I loved this sweet, and some times heart-wrenching story. Ivan is an old soul, with a warm heart. The characters surrounding him bring the story to life (especially Bob, the dog, who I imagine as a chihuahua with a mexican accent). There are some parts that are a bit more difficult to read, in relation to animal abuse, but the overall picture is positive. It also paints zoos in a good light, as these can sometimes get a negative reputation in the world of hippies and animals lovers.

Another great aspect is that they author took Ivan's 'voice' so literally it's written in short sentences and chapters, sometimes only a line or two, that each speak volumes. It helped make it a quick read.

Next Book: The Underneath by Kathi Appelt
Next Goal: All crib, all the time, all night? yeah right.